Thursday, September 10, 2015

Falling Away From Video Games

I'm sure that some of us have experienced this feeling from time to time. We have at some points of our lives just distanced ourselves from video games altogether, taking a break from the extreme rush of just playing a game. Some of us go days without playing, some of us can go weeks, and others can even go months or years without playing games.

In all honesty, I don't know what the future holds for me as a gamer and as an aspiring game designer. I'm not even sure if I have a future in gaming. Would I like to have a future in gaming? Yes. Would I like to have an official role in designing a game that people will get to play? Absolutely. Would I like to keep playing video games? Of course. It's what I know. It's a language I can speak. It's something that I can relate to. It's something that I want to be involved with in the years to come.

The problem is, and has always been this with someone like me who lives in the middle of nowhere, the matter of other people being willing to help me realize my dreams in this field. Being in my position, when I ask for help, I just don't seem to get the help I need. I have asked countless amounts of people to help me get my custom game stories and projects off the ground, and not surprisingly I have been met with the cold shoulder in response. I will even get a seal of approval from people in-person when I talk to them about my ideas, and yet, after meeting these people and trying to stay in touch with them online, it's like I ask for the impossible when I ask for something simple to be done.

For example, I ask a person to help me with the programming of a beta version of a game that I'd like to make, and then after having a few discussions with this person, he will never get back to me, as if he forgot about our conversation completely. It's situations like this that frustrate me and prevent me from staying motivated to push forward.

I have sent messages to people who specialize in making music, and sometimes game music will be right up their alley. I ask them to make a custom soundtrack for my custom game project, and it's like talking to a brick wall. I will even describe to them what my project is about and they will be initially intrigued by it, but then after a few conversations with them online, they pull away from me and stop responding to my messages.

I bring all this up because I see my ideas and my custom game projects collecting dust as time goes on. It's been like this for years now, and it doesn't seem like that many people care all that much about what I'm doing. I'll tell them about it, but I have nothing to show for it except for concept art, and because I have nothing to show for it, the people I try to work with don't give me sufficient help, and because of this nothing gets done.

I am not a programmer. I am not an artist. I am not a web designer. I am not a super technical person. I make this clear to all the people I interact with. I am just a writer, but I suppose that's not enough to satisfy some people. You have to do multiple things just to get noticed in the Video Game Industry. You have to be a writer AND a programmer AND a beta tester AND a graphic designer AND a music composer AND.....

Does anyone see my point? I can't do everything even if I tried. I need help or else the engine will never get started.

Falling away from video games is tough for people who have been gamers for most of their lives. Some people are even bold enough to walk away from video games forever and just do something else. I love the concept of making a video game too much to step away from video games. I watch footage of video games and I play video games here and there. Sadly I have become a very casual gamer in recent times. I have old Nintendo consoles I don't even play anymore. I have a Super Nintendo, a Nintendo 64 and a Nintendo Gamecube that are either stored away in a plastic tub or just sit out and gather dust. I can't afford anything at this point in the "pleasure" category. I'm in the poor class and it feels like it might take a whole decade to get back into a better economic situation.

And yet, nobody understands this. And people wonder why others fall away from video games? Because sometimes it's just way too difficult to get any help to start a custom game project.

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